You should put this in your blog

Sometimes I love that my family reads my blog. Especially when they are telling me what a wonderful, talented person I am. And then other times...
Sometimes I get yelled at for revealing deepest darkest secrets. Sometimes I get told, don't you dare write about this in your blog. I might overhear a perfect mom say to her darling daughter something like, "if you ask again I will rip out your throat" as she calmly packs a healthy lunch. Now, even funnier than that comment is the fact that darling daughter just went about her business, not the slightest bit concerned that her mother had just threatened her with a violent death. And you knew, you just knew, that in five minutes, or maybe ten, she was going to ask again. Without a doubt. I would love to have written about that little exchange. But nooo. Not allowed.
Sometimes I get told, "why didn't you blog about this?" That usually happens when I do something that highlights my idiocy. Like walking across a freshly seeded and newly sprouting yard. And not stopping when I realized it, but continuing to walk across, just faster, because everyone knows that if you walk faster the delicate little baby grasslings won't get as damaged. Apparently that story is worthy of blogging. Apparently I should write a whole essay on why I am so clueless that I can happily wave hello to the yard owner, while I trample his newborn grasses to death, as he watches in horror, before shouting out, 'hey! what are you doing?!" Who knew.