You really don't

The other day, my favorite T-shirt model told me that she'd like to meet my family so she would be able to get a nickname. So I thought about it for a little while and I decided it would probably go something like this:
Schell
Schellicious
Schelliiiiiiissssssssshhhhhhhious
Ishy
Ishy wishy
Wishy washy
Wash yo butt
butt washer
Now, it's always a good thing to have a clean butt, but I'm thinking most people don't want that as their nickname. I don't know if its worse than G Monkey Butt, but it's close. So maybe we won't meet. Unless we stop to visit and swim on our way to Ikea. In that case we would call you Schellicious all day to your face, and wouldn't begin the butt talk until after we left. You always have to be nice to the pool owners so you get invited back.